Are Amish children who leave taught they’ll go to hell?
Erik: It’s not uncommon to hear stories from former Amish individuals, especially those from more conservative or plain communities, claiming that they were told leaving the Amish would condemn them to hell. These narratives often describe a sense of fear instilled during childhood about the consequences of departing from their faith and community. Can you shed some light on whether this is a widespread belief? Are there specific communities or families known to emphasize this message? It seems like a very fear-driven approach to faith and belonging.
Ben: You’re right; such fear-based messaging is rooted in the emphasis on commitment that characterizes Amish life. Amish communities place a strong value on dedication—to God, to their community, and to their way of life. This dedication often manifests in strict teachings that highlight the importance of adhering to community standards and the dangers of straying. Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead to practices where children are warned that leaving the community equates to eternal damnation. While this is a real phenomenon, I would say it’s not the norm across all Amish groups.
Erik: I’ve listened to stories of former Amish individuals who describe experiences of trauma related to this fear, which seems quite intense and deeply impactful. It makes me wonder about the psychological effects of such teachings and whether they are common or more isolated cases.
Ben: Those accounts do exist, and they highlight the complex emotional landscape within Amish culture. It’s important to recognize that such experiences can leave lasting scars, and they aren’t representative of the entire Amish community. When my own son decided he no longer wanted to be Amish, we didn’t threaten him with hell. Instead, we talked about the consequences of choices and emphasized blessings over curses. My wife, Mary, helped him see that even outside the Amish faith, he could still be a positive influence and a blessing to others. This approach reflects a more compassionate and balanced perspective.
Erik: So, in your view, this fear-based message about hell isn’t a universal practice among the Amish, but rather an exception or perhaps a misguided strategy?
Ben: Exactly. While the fear of hell may be present in some communities, it’s not the standard. It’s a misguided way of instilling commitment, and I believe it’s unhealthy and unnecessary.
Erik: It’s interesting how stories of trauma and fear persist, especially when some former members share their experiences publicly. These narratives can sometimes overshadow the broader reality of Amish life, which also includes love, community, and faith.
Ben: Yes, and it’s worth noting that fear-based teachings are not exclusive to the Amish; similar themes appear in many cultures and religions, often amplified by stories of failure or rejection. These stories can be compelling, but they don’t define the whole community. For example, in American society, themes like the importance of education or career success are often linked to fears of failure, which can be just as psychologically impactful.
Erik: That’s a good point. The narratives we tell ourselves about success and failure shape our identities and decisions. It’s understandable that traumatic experiences leave deep impressions, but it’s also important to recognize that these are often individual stories rather than the community’s standard practice.
Ben: Absolutely. The idea of “the other” being fascinating and sometimes frightening applies here—people are often intrigued by groups different from themselves, and stories of fear or trauma tend to attract attention. It’s important to approach these stories with nuance, understanding that they don’t represent everyone’s experience.
For more information, see:
- Amish Church Rules (The Ordnung)
- Can Amish leave – and come back?
- Baptism in the Amish Church
- Leaving The Amish: 3 People’s Stories
- Why do the Amish practice shunning?